i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
