we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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