Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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