sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She needs sedatives and a leash
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
