My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
