So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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