is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
