Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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