That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
