ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
