Come see our sink grown plant.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize