I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
