Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
