I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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