having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
