woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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