I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
