Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i think i have two assholes
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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