Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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