This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
