the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
