He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
