I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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