It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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