Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize