Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
