Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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