You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
