and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
