He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
