Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize