we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
