Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
