yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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