Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
