Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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