you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
