I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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