you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
