waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
