He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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