I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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