Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
