She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
