I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
