I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
