I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize