I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
