I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
