dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
