I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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