fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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