i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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