UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
so much tequila, so little girl.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
