at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
