Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize