they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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