the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she smelled like a LAN party
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize