We won't sleep together?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Randomize
