True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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