i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
