Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
