I wish I could punch you in the face.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
