Do you still have your period?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
