maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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