for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize