nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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