Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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