A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize