wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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