The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
