If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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