Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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