thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
