she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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